I don’t know about you, but it happens to me so often. (Cue: crickets chirping. Tumbleweeds rolling across studio floor.) Part of it is because I am trying to juggle life as an artist, an employee, a mom, and a wife. But it seems like I am so often rolling along, painting ideas coming without much effort, finding inspiration around every turn, and then…bang! A wheel comes off. Amelia gets sick and has to stay home from daycare. Or we have to travel out of town and I miss a week of painting. Or I get a migraine (I get a lot of those dang things) that takes me out of the game for a day or two. Currently, I’m in the midst of a big dry spell.
I long to get into the studio when life keeps me out, but sometimes the loss of momentum seems almost insurmountable. All the ideas I had before the “time out” are still there, in some form, but suddenly I can’t remember why I wanted to paint them in the first place. The painting I was so excited to be working on suddenly appears uninteresting, or even intimidating. Then my brain gets to work, trying to guilt me into the studio, incessantly listing all the tasks I SHOULD be completing – the deadlines, the paintings waiting to be finished, the canvas boards I should be making, the photos I should be shooting…etc. etc. ad infinitum. Meanwhile, I begin practicing avoidance – doing all the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, washing dishes, brushing the dog…you get the idea.
Eventually I do manage to cajole myself back to the easel, but the going is always slow, and I feel like it takes a week at least to get back to where I was (precious time, since I only have one studio day per week right now plus whatever I can eke out on weekends).
So, dear reader, if you’ve struggled with dry spells – whether imposed by life or self – what ways have you found to get yourself back on track? I’d love to hear your suggestions and stories.
I long to get into the studio when life keeps me out, but sometimes the loss of momentum seems almost insurmountable. All the ideas I had before the “time out” are still there, in some form, but suddenly I can’t remember why I wanted to paint them in the first place. The painting I was so excited to be working on suddenly appears uninteresting, or even intimidating. Then my brain gets to work, trying to guilt me into the studio, incessantly listing all the tasks I SHOULD be completing – the deadlines, the paintings waiting to be finished, the canvas boards I should be making, the photos I should be shooting…etc. etc. ad infinitum. Meanwhile, I begin practicing avoidance – doing all the laundry, cleaning the bathroom, washing dishes, brushing the dog…you get the idea.
Eventually I do manage to cajole myself back to the easel, but the going is always slow, and I feel like it takes a week at least to get back to where I was (precious time, since I only have one studio day per week right now plus whatever I can eke out on weekends).
So, dear reader, if you’ve struggled with dry spells – whether imposed by life or self – what ways have you found to get yourself back on track? I’d love to hear your suggestions and stories.
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I swear I thought I commented on this yesterday. Anyway.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds totally like my painting life, so you just made me feel a little better. :)
Having a couple of deadlines hanging over my head I can say I'm not really a fan, but I think it's also being good for me. I just read "The War of Art" a bit ago, pretty good book.
No big advice or words of inspiration really, just that I feel your pain, and I really remember what it was like to be where you are, 'cept I had two kids. :)
Maybe that's why I paint fast, haha. xoxo
Jen, I think I can relate. My wife had our baby boy, Liem, 4 weeks ago and mostly now my studio time consists of walking in there just to smell the smells and then turning around to go do other things. I have not painted in months. Saturday afternoon, I actually worked on a charcoal drawing for a few hours - though it was while trying to allow my wife to take a nap so I was holding Liem in one arm while drawing with the other. Had to finally put him in the boppy pillow on the floor where he went to sleep... aahh, peaceful studio time...
ReplyDeleteIt is a struggle to balance a family, a job and an ambition like painting - which can be all consuming. Anyway, I have resolved to not be frustrated, but to just enjoy this stage of life and paint when I can.
The hardest part for me is being ready at a moment's notice. Motivation does not always keep the same schedule that I do.
Diana - I can't imagine this w/ 2 kids, although I think if you're motivated enough, you can do anything. It's just that sometimes the energy to be motivated is a little lacking! I think personally I need to let go of the guilt and excuse myself for lacking energy. Maybe it would have a less averse effect than beating myself up over it... I'll have to check out "War of Art."
ReplyDeleteCraig, thanks for your comment! I SO remember that earliest stage of parenthood. One way I forced myself to keep making art was by committing to a show before my daughter was born. She was born June 1 and my show was the end of August. So I had to get my butt in the studio. It wasn't easy, but I guess having deadlines really can force your hand a little bit.
ReplyDeleteThe first few years are definitely a struggle, and thought the battle for time doesn't go away, it does relinquish a bit. I actually have taken my daughter (who's about to turn 4) plein air painting w/ me, and she has so much fun and is so entertained that I actually manage to get some painting done. She does TALK a lot, though - LOL!
I agree that you need to step back a bit and enjoy your new role - it passes SO quickly. And having a child adds a whole new level of intensity to your work, I think. I think my work has gotten much better in the past 4 years, despite the time limits and dry spells!
Well, I'll stop blathering, but congratulations and keep painting. I love what you're doing & look forward to seeing more.
BTW - you should get a photo of yourself drawing while holding little Liem - he'll love to see that when he's bigger! :)
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